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  • Frank Wooden

Surviving the Drama: Mastering the Art of Coping with Drama Queens

The older I get the less I enjoy drama queens (though that hasn’t stopped me from following politics).

The Urban Dictionary defines “drama queens” as people who like to blow everything totally out of proportion because they either:

  • Want to seek attention

  • Have some emotional dysfunction and it's their duty to make life harder for everyone around them

  • Just simply can't get over it

  • Extremely miserable and insecure

  • All of the above

Though the term is drama queens, it can refer to anyone.

The odds are- you know a drama queen or two. They bring tension into a room and negatively impact the dynamics of social interaction. You know they are going to show up at your next event but you’re already hoping they have a prior engagement.

Are there more drama queens now than at other times? Maybe not though the pandemic has changed the behavior of a lot of people. Are they going to disappear from your life? Not likely.

Here are five tips to help you cope with the drama queens in your life:

Maintain Emotional Distance:

Drama queens thrive on attention and emotional reactions. One effective strategy is to detach yourself emotionally from their antics. Practice staying calm and composed when confronted with their drama, as it can help defuse the situation.

In other words- be the grown up in the room. By the way- the best time to implement this emotional detachment is before they show up.

Set Clear Boundaries:

Establishing boundaries is crucial when dealing with drama queens. Clearly communicate what behaviors are acceptable and unacceptable to you. Be firm in maintaining these boundaries and avoid getting drawn into unnecessary conflicts or emotional manipulation.

One of the things I remember about my wife’s dad is that he never said anything negative about a person. No matter how many people tried to draw him into their drama- he refused to play along. It was a boundary he established long ago and it is worth following today.

Choose Your Battles Wisely:

Drama queens often provoke conflicts over trivial matters. Learn to differentiate between significant issues that warrant attention and those that are simply attempts to seek drama. Save your energy for the battles that truly matter and avoid getting entangled in unnecessary drama.

If the house is on fire and someone is yelling “Fire”, that deserves attention. Every once in a while, a drama queen puts their finger on an issue that needs attention. Best not to ignore those times.

Practice Active Listening:

Drama queens often crave attention and validation. By actively listening to them, you show empathy and understanding. However, be cautious not to get caught up in their emotional whirlwind. Offer support where necessary, but avoid getting dragged into their web of drama.

One caution- some people think because you are actively listening to them, you are agreeing with everything they say, even if you don’t.

Surround Yourself with Positive Influences:

Counterbalance the negative impact of drama queens by surrounding yourself with positive, supportive individuals. Build a strong support network of friends, family, or colleagues who uplift you and provide a healthy perspective. Their presence can help you maintain your sanity and navigate drama-filled situations more effectively.

I’m not sure what is a healthy ration between drama queens and supportive individuals in your life but I know it has to be quite high. Make sure you are surrounding yourself with people who genuinely care about you and add value to you.

Remember, coping with drama queens requires patience, self-control, and a focus on your own well-being. By implementing these tips, you can minimize the impact of drama queens in your life and maintain a healthier, more peaceful environment....and maybe spend less time following politics.

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